Knowing You, Meeting Me

Song(s) for Today — Part 1

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31

Two of my favorite “toys” are my blackberry and my bluetooth. It really isn’t that I’m hugely into technology as much as I’m HUGELY into music and my bluetooth allows me to listen to the the music of my choosing and not the TV shows of my children’s choosing. 

*Fred Hammond or Dora? Yeah….that’s hard*

This has been an incredibly good thing lately because I have not been feeling very patient lately. I’m okay with the people around me…but circumstances….that is another matter entirely. I have been telling myself, “if we can just get through the next month, three weeks, two weeks, ten days everything we’ve been expecting will be here and we can take care of all things around us that need fixing” (yeah….100 year old house….fun stuff).

I find myself constantly stressing and checking the dates and waiting as if my sitting here impatiently is going to do any good. So I’ve developed a bit of a playlist to calm me down when things get a little uptight for me.

Fred Hammond – They That Wait

Not entirely unlike the verse quoted above, this song reminds me to calm down and “hold on a little while longer” because it will all be okay. One of my favorite things to tell people is this: it might not be easy, but it is simple. Waiting on God is a lot like that. It requires a trust that He will work things out for you regardless of what circumstances look like because that is what we were promised (Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.) Speaking of which, that brings me to another song on my playlist.

Israel Houghton – Everywhere That I Go

This guy will probably get quoted a lot on here because I LOVE his music and I LOVE his story and his passion for worship is just awesome. This is a song I will listen to literally 6 or 7 times in a row just to be sure it sinks in. 

*for the record, the lyrics I’m posting here should be attributed the the artists I’m talking about just beforehand.* 

“You promised me you’d never leave. You promised me I’m never forsaken. I believe goodness and mercy will follow me surrounding me, where I go, everywhere that I go.”

That isn’t always easy to remember. I once thought about how easy it is for Christians to believe that God created all that’s in existence, parted the Red Sea and raised Jesus from the dead but believing Him to come through with things like bills and sick family members is just too much. That must sound so ludicrous to Him!!! “Yeah, God, I know You made manna fall from the sky for the Israelites but this is my car note God!!! Can you handle that? Cause I’m just not so sure….” *blank stare* “Really….I made you…out of nothing….Yeah…think I can handle that…and your electric bill.” And yet our faith falters any time things look rough. But the promise that we have is that goodness and mercy will follow us…from the God who made us out of…well…nothing. That should inspire at least a little bit of confidence, don’t you think?

Jonathan Nelson – Bettah

“My praise causes things to look bettah. It loosens and breaks every fetter. My faith is increased, new blessings released. My praise causes things to look bettah. My praise causes things to look bettah.”

If you haven’t done this yet you should. There is no better way then to get yourself out of a bad mood, bad space, bad time like worship. 2 Corinthians 10:4 tells us that the weapons we fight with are not of this world….they have the power to demolish strongholds. Worship is one of those weapons. I can’t tell you – though I have many stories, some of which I might post here – how many times I have needed God to show up (side note, while we’re talking about music, the song Show Up! by John P. Kee is incredibly encouraging in these times as well…honorable mention) that He has done so as a result of my obedience to worship…this next part is important – whether I felt like it or not (another honorable mention side note….Praise Him In Advance by Marvin Sapp….guess I’m really feeling like a gospel theme today)

I need to go be productive….so I will finish this later. One thing before I return to my children….a lesson I learned about God from an interaction with my son – that happens quite a bit.

My oldest was having a panic attack because he wanted to play a game on my laptop that needed updated to work properly. Because of the autism, he was having problems understanding this concept. So the laptop was next to me and he was in my face on my lap crying and screaming over this game. I kept trying to make him feel better and telling him I could help but he wouldn’t listen or move out of the way so I could update the game. Finally, I made him look me directly in the eye and said, “Honey, Mommy can fix it. But I can’t do anything if you won’t let me.”

So, while I’m waiting (which reminds me of a song I’ll talk about next post), I’ll remember that God has got everything under control. He sees what we need and knows when we need Him to show up. He’s got everything figured out even when I don’t. So, since that seems to be His specialty, I’ll move out of the way. I can panic, I can scream, I can cry, I can freak out. But if I’m in His way, He can’t move freely. I don’t want to prevent Him from fixing what’s wrong or doing what needs done. 

——> moving that way.

~ Monique

Leave a comment »

Mad at Me or Mad for Me?

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

Romans 8:1-4

I haven’t posted here in awhile and there’s been a pretty good reason for that. Until about five minutes ago, I thought I didnt’ have anything to say – a fact that would boggle the mind if you knew me. I talk – a lot. Pretty much all the time in fact. But just because you speak words doesn’t mean you have anything to say. More on that  on a later date.

Over the past two months I’ve been reconnecting with two amazing friends of mine who I didn’t realize knew me as well as they did. They see me for who I am, which includes the dreams I have that I thought I was hiding from the whole world – pretty well in fact. This reconnection, which was very much divinely appointed, has redirected the way I look at me, the way I know God and showed me that despite all my shortcomings, He isn’t through with me yet (…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Phillippians 1:6).

So if this is true, why have I been stuck the past two weeks? The answer to that is simple. I forgot one of the most basic foundations of the Christian life. No condemnation. My husband and I have four children – the oldest was conceived while we were still engaged. He has fought (and beat) cancer, both obstructive and central sleep apnea (see what an over achiever he is?), and has been diagnosed with autism, ADHD and anxiety. Needless to say he can be a bit of a challenge. Every so often someone will insinuate that he has all these issues because God is punishing us for the date of his conception and while I KNOW that’s not the God I serve, there are days that’s really easy to forget. I know there are times I could pick up my Bible that I think, “God, I just spent four hours being screamed at….we can do this later. I need a minute.” I get complacent.

…and then I get worried….

I wonder what I should have done differently and how I could have done things better. I think of all the ways I should clean up before going back so that when I present Him with the reasons and whys I’ll be better received.

And then this morning, I’m listening to one of my favorite songs, Surely Goodness, sung by one of my favorite singers, Israel Hougton. In it he says, “Said You’re not mad at me, no You’re not mad at me. You’re madly in love with me. You love me madly madly madly.”


So I guess I just go like this. Just start from here. I don’t have to catch up on everything I’ve missed. I just…go.

At the beginning of Easter week my husband went to get my mother in law from the airport. When he found her, he called to report that he’d “picked up the package” which was my cue to put my kids on speaker phone. In walks my often emotional four year old daughter, Regan. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Regan, talk to Daddy.
Regan: Hi, Daddy!!
Daddy: Hi, Recee!! I have something for you! Wanna know what it is?
Regan: Ok! What is it?
(at this point we are interrupted by my very opinionated very bossy 3 year old daughter Taylor)
Taylor: You can’t ask what it is!!!
*Regan cries*

It took me awhile to calm her down. Meanwhile, my husband and his mom are waiting to talk to Regan but can’t because she’s too upset to listen. Finally, as if prophetically I said this to her:

“Regan, your Daddy has something for you. I know you’re upset right now but stop listening to everything out there and just ask him what it is.”

All the noise, including the noise in my own head, has been keeping me from the things my Daddy has for me. Including the fact that we who are in Christ have no condemnation. As crazy as my life might be right now there are good things waiting for me.

I for one refuse to miss out on them.

Until next time.

Leave a comment »