Knowing You, Meeting Me

Look to the Sky

on December 14, 2012

You are God alone, from before time began
You were on Your throne, You are God alone.
And right now, in the good times and bad
You are on Your throne, You are God alone.

You are God Alone – Philips, Craig and Dean

I know normally my song choices are a little longer, but today, on this day, that’s all I’ve got. Like probably many of you, I’ve spent the day glued to the television watching endless hours of the news coverage detailing the horrific tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. All four of my children are between five and ten years old….the exact ages of the 20 babies that died at the hands of a gunman while they sat in their classrooms. 
As a parent, these stories are hard for me. Who kills kids? What possible reason could anyone have for murdering a child? Like you, I’m angered, I’m saddened, I’m confused, I’m heartbroken. As a Christian, I admit these stories are hard for me. I am sometimes more than tempted to question God. “Where were You when this guy decided it was his job to kill someone’s kid?” “How could You let this happen?” “How does this show love?” 
And then I remember, the same free will that I appreciate when I get to decide what to have for breakfast or how long I’m going to play the Sims 3, this man has. It’s easy to want to choice away from those who abuse it, but, then how do we decide? And then I’m horrified because I feel like I’m justifying a man who I wish had just stayed home today instead of taking the lives of 26 people. 
How do we find God in tragedy? 

My husband decided to peel me away from the coverage with a mission – grocery shopping for dinner. It only did but so much good because the whole time we were out, I was talking to one of my oldest friend about a mutual acquaintance who died on Monday of a drug overdose. I’ve known this person’s family for about 20 years so I knew the struggle she had been having for a very very long time. Finally, after holding them back all day, I finally cried.
As we pulled into our driveway, my beautiful six year old daughter looks up into the night, blissfully ignorant of all the turmoil in the world – and for that matter my heart. “Look how beautiful the sky is!” My sweet girl could find a handful of stars, which always amazes her since she could never find any in the metropolitan city we used to live in. She was completely enthralled with the beauty of God’s creation. 
“Unchangeable….Unshakable…Unstoppable, that’s what You are…..”

Even now, in the midst of this horrifying, heartbreaking disaster, God is still on the throne. He hasn’t abdicated. He hasn’t gone on vacation. He hasn’t failed. So how do we respond? We pray for those affected. We pray for our nation. We hold our children closer and remember to tell our friends and family how much we love them. And we use our intellectual capacities to see what real and tangible measures need to be put in place so that senseless things thing these do not keep occurring. We were given minds and it is our moral obligation to use them to the best of our abilities. 
In the meantime, remember to look to the sky. The moon is still out. The stars are still shining. Even if it looks bleak, there is still light. My heart is still shattered for the family I know who lost their adult child to drugs and all the families I know whose lives were forever changed in an instant. I pray for their comfort and peace. But, I know that all hope is not lost. Don’t believe me? Go outside…
…and just look up.

All of my love and prayers,

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